Being a stepdad........

We speak about fathers quite a bit here at RAFN, but many of us have blended families. I have a blended family. Many of us try hard to plan for the future, but things happen. Marriages fall apart, people die. Between "once upon a time" and "happily ever after" is life. I got married on 08/20/2011. I am currently going through a divorce, but have been separated for almost 3 years. My (soon to be) ex-wife Kim, and I share a beautiful, funny little girl named Emma. She is 4 and spends a majority of her time with her mother. Cassi is my girlfriend now, and after the divorce with Kim we plan on getting married. Yes, I know what you're thinking. Jumping right into another marriage. People put a lot of planning into a wedding but no one ever plans for a divorce. Also I have heard that no good marriages end in divorce. My ex and I are pretty civil, but that wasn't always the case. Its been a few years and we have both moved on. Cassi and I have known each other since we were in high school. We went to prom together, and we remained friends after high school. In our early twenties there was always that attraction, but either I would be with someone or she would be dating someone, so the timing was never right. Life happens, she met someone and had twin boys- Mayson & Braydon, age 7. Their biological father passed away while Cassi was pregnant. I told Cassi when we were in our early twenties that if we were 30 and single that we should get married. Well that's exactly what happened. Its funny how if Cassi and I had gotten together back in our early twenties we would not have the children we have now. I would have done something dumb and broken her heart and would have lost her forever. I was a bit out of control back then. SO... I wanted a family and the boys needed a father. We put our broken pieces together and......Viola! Even though they are not my biological children I love those boys. Throw in Emma and forget about it, they are quite a handful. I make it a point to not take the place of their father, but be there when they need me. I taught them how to fix their hair and how they should respect girls and women. There is not one ounce of handy-man in me but when Cassi needs me to put together a bed frame or a dresser I show the boys as best I can how to put things together. They may not always stay together though. I don't introduce them as my step-sons. They are simply, my sons. Just as Emma is my daughter. Life is like water, you try to take control of it and squeeze it in your hands and it will slip away. I have learned that I have very little control over what happens in life. I try and guide it the way I would HOPE it would go.


Jaime O.

To see me and my kids visit our Real Life with Real Fathers page. Scroll down and find Jaime O. from Apple Valley.