Dad Jokes

A celebration of the delightfully-terrible Dad Joke! These may not be great jokes but every time you share a good bad joke with your kids you are making a great moment.

Why aren't koalas really bears? Because they don't meet the koalafications.
Why did the bunny go to the hospital? Because he needed a hopperation.
Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had so many problems.
Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because it of his big bill.
What did the candle say to the other candle? You wanna go out tonight?
What did the bee say when he was amazed? Un-bee-lievable!
What do elves learn in kindergarten? The elf-abet.
Why did the clock get in trouble at school? Because he "tocked" a lot.
Would you like to hear a pizza joke? Never mind. It's too cheesy.
What did the football coach say to the vending machine? I need a quarter back.
What happens when a frog's car breaks down? It gets toad.
Why are movie stars so cool? Because they have so many fans.
Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin says, "It's hot in here." The second muffin screams, "Ahhh! A talking muffin."
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark.
Why did the cat get kicked out of the computer store? He kept playing with the mouse.
Why do you have to be careful when it's raining cats and dogs? Because you might step in a poodle
I used to really hate facial hair. Then one day, it grew on me.
How many apples grow on an apple tree? All of them.
Do you know the name of the boy wizard that loved to play golf? Harry Putter.
Why do bees hum? Because they don't know the words.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frost-bitten.
Why did the astronaut move to the suburbs? He wanted more space.
Hear about the guy that stayed up all night wondering where the sun had gone? It finally dawned on him.
Did you hear about the world's greatest watch thief? He stole all the time.
Why did the golf course hire the dermatologist? It needed to have some moles removed.
Where do fancy cats go to the bathroom? The glitter box.
Why do optimists have to wear sunglasses? Because they're always looking on the bright side.
Have you heard about the sale at the Optimist Store? Everything's 50% on.
Did you hear the one about the Ballerina Debate Team? They always stay on point.
What's big and hairy and wears a bow tie? Bigfoot at a fancy party.
Why did the pizza cutter get a speeding ticket? Because he was rounding the corner too fast